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Hello Mr. Coville, I'm aware that this isn't the typical post to your lovely guestbook, but I am a lifelong fan of your work and I was wondering if you could help me out.
I'm 17 years old, about to be a senior in high school and living at home, and I've been struggling on the topic of my sexuality for almost as long as I can remember. Recently this has been called into more attention as I've developed feelings for a very good friend of mine (a girl). My parents, particularly my father, are not at all accepting of LGBT (we've argued over this in the past). Although my sexuality is still a bit of a grey area for me, I'm beginning to realize that I'm not heterosexual, and I'm terrified of my parents' reactions if they found out. I'm unsure if who I can talk to about this.
Thank you, Kira
I'm 17 years old, about to be a senior in high school and living at home, and I've been struggling on the topic of my sexuality for almost as long as I can remember. Recently this has been called into more attention as I've developed feelings for a very good friend of mine (a girl). My parents, particularly my father, are not at all accepting of LGBT (we've argued over this in the past). Although my sexuality is still a bit of a grey area for me, I'm beginning to realize that I'm not heterosexual, and I'm terrified of my parents' reactions if they found out. I'm unsure if who I can talk to about this.
Thank you, Kira
Reply by Bruce Coville
Kira -
I'm sorry not to have responded to this earlier. I'm also sorry you didn't provide your email, as I would have tried to provide you with a private message.
(Note to everyone: Leaving your email address means you'll be notified when I respond. Your address does NOT show up on the guestbook page.)
It's a really tough question that you've asked, and one for which there are no easy answers . . . especially as I don't know parents, or even the area in which you are living. In many urban areas there are support groups for gay, bi, and even "questioning" teens. If you are in a rural area that is less likely so.
I wish I could tell you that all parents will respond with love and understanding in a situation like this. Alas, that would be to paint a falsely rosy picture.
Here is the best thing I can tell you without knowing more: Do not let anyone shame you for what you are. Do not let anyone blame you. Be strong in the knowledge that whatever your gender orientation, you are still the person your parents have loved for all these years, and if they cannot understand it, the problem is with them and not with you.
My best wishes to you in this challenging situation.
BC
I'm sorry not to have responded to this earlier. I'm also sorry you didn't provide your email, as I would have tried to provide you with a private message.
(Note to everyone: Leaving your email address means you'll be notified when I respond. Your address does NOT show up on the guestbook page.)
It's a really tough question that you've asked, and one for which there are no easy answers . . . especially as I don't know parents, or even the area in which you are living. In many urban areas there are support groups for gay, bi, and even "questioning" teens. If you are in a rural area that is less likely so.
I wish I could tell you that all parents will respond with love and understanding in a situation like this. Alas, that would be to paint a falsely rosy picture.
Here is the best thing I can tell you without knowing more: Do not let anyone shame you for what you are. Do not let anyone blame you. Be strong in the knowledge that whatever your gender orientation, you are still the person your parents have loved for all these years, and if they cannot understand it, the problem is with them and not with you.
My best wishes to you in this challenging situation.
BC